I won’t lie—I will probably still be checking out the size of my love handles when I am 90 years old. It’s true that now, in my 30’s, I exercise for my mental and physical health more than for my body image, BUT make no mistake, I do love all of the visible benefits of physical exercise. Stronger arms, a lifted booty, toned legs, glowing skin, improved running, and that every-day tasks like chasing my kids or climbing stairs are easier, to name a few.
What I have been pondering is if it is truly possible to undo 30-ish years of the ingrained mindset that thin=healthy. That the models in the magazines are the only beautiful ones. That I could be happy if only I could lose the last 20, 10, 5 pounds. That my self-worth depends on my jean size. That more people would like me if I was thinner. These things sound crazy right?? But I am willing to bet that if any woman tells you she has never had one of these thoughts, it’s a complete lie.
It might be too late for me. I strive every day to improve my own body positivity, but I still struggle. But I propose that the body-shaming and the negativity stops with our generation. The “f” word is not allowed in our house. Ok, the other “f” word—the three-letter one. I have a young daughter and it is one of my life’s missions to get her grown up with a positive body image. I realize this is going to be huge battle on my part. It is me against pop culture, social media, mean girls, even her own friends.
So what am I doing to help her to grow up thinking differently about herself than I did? (Note: these things can also be applied to my son. Self-worth is important for both genders.)
- Positive self-talk. As mentioned, the word “fat” is not spoken in our house. Not about ourselves and not about anyone else. This is hard for me—I recently had to give away several pair of skinny jeans and shorts because they were too small. It took a conscious effort on my part, because I knew little eyes were watching and little ears were listening, to say, “Look how strong my legs are,” instead of any other words that I wanted to use in reference to my backside!
- Viewing food as fuel for our bodies. This is actually a multi-layered task, but to start, we often talk about different foods on our plate and how meat “makes our muscles strong” and milk and cheese, “make our bones and teeth healthy.” I know they are generalizations, and in the same sense, we talk about how sweets and treats are just that—a treat. We discuss how too much sugar is unhealthy for the body and doesn’t make us feel very good. It doesn’t give us as much energy as healthy foods like fruit and veggies.
- “Food awareness”–we don’t force our kids to clean up their plates. We do require them to eat the same meal as we do, and they do have to at least try everything. I want them to always know that you stop eating when you are full. Babies and toddlers are actually the best at naturally doing this act that should be a simple instinct, but over time older kids and adults have learned to ignore the fullness signal.
- Physical activity in a fun way. We make sure as a family to include play, especially outside, every day. I want them to view movement as fun. Kids naturally love to move, so I like to just encourage this habit. It also provides more opportunity to point out the wonderful way that God made us—legs for running, hands for catching, touching, mouths for talking and laughing. An important point too in my opinion is making sure that I model healthy habits for the right reasons. When I am exercising, which currently includes strength training, I am mindful to say things like, “Mommy works out to get stronger muscles so I can carry you,” or “I love to work up a sweat because it makes me feel really happy, and it gives me energy to play with you.” We don’t talk about “losing weight” or “looking good in a bathing suit.”
- Limiting screen time. Did you know that we are exposed to an average of 3000 advertisements a day? We are all strongly influenced by those ads, whether you believe it or not. We do not have cable, so what little (30 minutes max, a few times a week) cartoons the kids do watch, is commercial-free. They are too young for cell phones or ipads or other electronic devices, but we hope to continue to limit the amount of exposure they have to social media and other television with commercials full of ads selling products, values, and images of what we “think” we need, should value or should strive to look like.
My children are very young, so I know that these actions will need to be adapted as they age, but I feel like we are off to a great start. Change starts with us! So while I may not be full of advice as to how to help MY generation with all of our body-image hang-ups, I hope these pointers help you set a positive body-image example for your young children!
These are great ways to talk about our bodies with your kids!