I Kissed My Baby Goodnight for the Last Time

Tonight, I kissed my baby goodnight. Tomorrow, I will kiss my toddler good morning.

How can one year go by so slowly but so quickly at the same time? The mamas out there know exactly what I mean.

We prayed so much and for so long for her. And then we waited.

Our wait was so short compared to some. I pray daily for my friends still waiting. I don’t have any advice or words of wisdom for why God chooses the length of time that each mama waits. It’s on my list of questions for Him someday.

I know it takes an enormous amount of faith to make it through that wait though.

Isn’t that true for all aspects of parenting though?

This year has been long–so many hours of sitting, rocking, nursing. So few hours of sleep. This year has been short–watching her change from rolling to scooting to walking seemingly overnight.

We have had joys and hardships. Watching her big brother and sister meet her was the happiest moment of my life. If a heart could literally explode, mine would have. She had surgery at seven months old. If being worried to death was an actual thing, I wouldn’t be here right now.

But the last 365 days have taught me so much–never once have I taken her for granted. She has been our gift from God, truly. She is sweet and silly and beautiful and chill and SO LOVED by us all. She keeps me grounded and is the reason I decided to stay at home full-time. Hard decision–or easy choice? Both.

She has taught me to let go a little and enjoy the little moments–like all the rocking. After all, in the blink of an eye and one more sleep, she will change stages again.