Right now, in the world, there is war, unimaginable evil, and even social media is filled with haters spewing cruel words. On the other end of the spectrum, there is another hot topic—kindness. It seems bizarre to me that KINDNESS is a hot topic. Shouldn’t this be inherent to mankind? I mean, I can’t think of a much better word to describe Jesus himself than “kind.” And yet, here we are in the 21st century desperately needing kindness in our society, so-much-so that one might even consider it a superpower.
Right now, kindness is a skill that not everyone uses, but, one that gives us the opportunity to do something absolutely great when we project it. Thus, kindness = superpower. And as a mom, kindness becomes a more super superpower because I have the ability to help my children project superhuman kindness.
Let me just preface this by acknowledging that I certainly am not always as kind as I should be. I am a work in progress, just like everyone else. Anyhow… you know that saying, “Kids are like sponges”? Well, it’s true. I have a preschooler and a toddler, and I believe that the best way to teach them something, is not by repeating it over and over again (I mean, they don’t listen anyway, right?) but by DOING it. Or better yet, modeling the desired behavior, in this case kindness, and letting them soak it in.
Because kids are like sponges, they also soak in how we treat ourselves. This has been a challenging one, personally, as a mom. After my daughter was born, I vowed to never let her hear me talk negatively to myself or about myself. This turned out to be the best thing that could have happened to me—because when I am unkind to myself, I am unkind to others, AND vice-versa. So more kindness to myself equates to more kindness to others. This takes conscious work though!
My daughter once caught me in my closet, mid-temper tantrum over jeans that no longer fit. Let me tell you—I dried up my tears and negativity pretty quickly because I did not want her to witness my negative self-talk. Plus, it was pretty hard to stay mad when she asked me if I was stuck in my jeans!! (I was.)
In addition cutting out all of the negative self-talk, my husband and I try to teach our children that everyone is important to someone. You might be surprised at how naturally good children are at this already. For example, yesterday in church, an elderly gal was sitting by herself. After the service, my daughter insisted that she go over and say, “Hi,” and spend a moment visiting with her. To see the look on the woman’s face was priceless, and I know that my daughter had a little extra pep in her step as she walked back over to us. You see, kindness is like that. You think that it’s just the receiver of the kind act who reaps the rewards, but it makes the GIVER feel good too!
While some seem to define kindness as, “the absence of cruelty,” I believe it actually means something else. Kindness takes effort—and sometimes vulnerability and selflessness. Those are sometimes hard things, right?
Speaking of being vulnerable and selfless, I have also committed to more kindness towards my kids. Again, sometimes a difficult task as you are cleaning up the 7,289th mess of the day at 9am. But soft words, acknowledging when the spill or the mess is an accident (because they are kids, 99% of the time it is an accident), and slowing down to go at their pace can go miles towards showing them kindness.
I believe that all of this kindness is bound to spill over into other encounters with friends, parents, complete strangers, and social media interactions. I frequently say, although cliché, kindness really does start with us. So how are you going to use your superpower?
Now that was a good read!!!! Good Job Sweetie!!!!
Thanks Mom!! Love you!